good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
