I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
