so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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