Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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