And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
