i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
