I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
