All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
