It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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