You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
