awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
