No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
