I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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