sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
