Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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