and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
