I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How does it feel to date your dad?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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