I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my poor anus
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
