Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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