i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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