I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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