sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
