All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize