I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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