I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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