if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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