why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
