I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
