i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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