what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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