I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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