And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize