**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
