the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
