just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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