You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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