I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
