guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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