i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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