my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
