Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
