I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
