If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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