WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize