I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ladies don't puke and tell
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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