a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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