I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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