just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
