you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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