By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize