Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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