Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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