we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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