So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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