barbara walters just said penis...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
