I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
