I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
