i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
