I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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