gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
