Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
