i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
