oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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