I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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